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About This Site.
This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!!
Enjoy.

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Craig Harper Resources

life coach and mentor Life Coach Melbourne - Craig Harper
If you are interested in maximizing your potential, stepping out of that 'holding pattern' and being privately coached by Craig click here.

 

Business Coach Melbourne - Craig Harper
If you're a personal trainer, gym owner or studio owner who is interested in growing your business and/or your career, then mentoring with Craig could be a valuable part of your overall success strategy and professional development journey.
biological age testing Biological Age Testing - Craig Harper
In a recent test, Jan Frazer, who has a chronological age (the number of years she's been on the planet) of 67 did a biological age test which showed she has the body of a 37 year old female. Pretty Impressive! How old is your body! Find out here.
body composition analysis Body Composition Analysis - Craig Harper
Craig's team of experts can provide you with a complete Body Composition Analysis in just 30 minutes.
High Performance Nutrition Services Nutrition Melbourne - Craig Harper
Many nutritional experts are confusing people with jargon and pseudo-science. Craig's HPN Service provides remote access to Craig's Director of Nutrition to cut through the dietary confusion and contradiction.
affiliate marketing Affiliate Marketing Partner - Craig Harper
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public speaking workshop Public Speaking Melbourne - Craig Harper
If you've ever thought about becoming a professional speaker or improving your public speaking then you can be privately coached here.
Craig Harper - Fattitude. Fattitude - Craig Harper
While many books focus on food, Craig Harper teaches that creating life-long change is more about the dieter, than the actual diet. This book is perfect for people who have a history of 'almost' getting in shape.
DVD or CD - Renovate Your Body - Craig Harper
In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. Many of us have a curious ability to be able to get in shape for events (weddings, parties, reunions and birthdays), if only we'd get in shape for life.
Craig Harper - Food, Exercise, and Lifestyle Diary Food, Exercise, and Lifestyle Diary - Craig Harper. If you're serious about your training, nutrition, and lifestyle - Craig Harper's training diary is an invaluable tool.


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Welcome to Craig's site.

Craig Harper is a leading motivational speaker and educator. He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and professional development. Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire, challenge and make people laugh all at the same time!
 

Renovate Your Life Blog


Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Difference Between Talking and Communicating.
Have you ever met someone who speaks fluent English but at the same time, doesn't really speak your language? They don't talk with you or to you, as much as they talk at you, over you and around you - in your general direction. They speak a language which is largely meaningless to you. Sure it's English, but overall, it doesn't really make sense. There's no connection, no real understanding and the outcome of these conversations is usually confusion, frustration, anger or boredom.

Over the years I have employed hundreds of people in my businesses. And while I always look for a range of preferred qualities, attributes and personality traits in a potential employee, the one non-negotiable skill that's always at the top of my shopping list is the ability to be able to communicate effectively. If someone ticks all the boxes - academic, appearance, experience, knowledge - but they don't tick the communication box, then they probably won't get a gig with me. The reality is that a person who isn't a great communicator won't make a good trainer (teacher, coach, mentor), unless of course, they can find a way to develop those skills.
That's the good news; these skills can be developed.

Without doubt, communication is the single most important life skill, yet amazingly, the majority of us don't consciously work at developing it. Better communication equals better relationships, and better relationships equals a better life. So why wouldn't we work at it?

Some of us bumble along making the same communication mistakes, often with the same people in the same situations for years. Whether it's at work, at home, in the classroom, at the supermarket, at church (temple, mosque), in life, in love, in conflict - our ability to communicate will invariably dictate the outcome of most conversations, situations, circumstances and experiences.

While we all speak English (readers of this site anyway), the reality is we all have our own unique language. The problem is that in typical conversation we mostly speak our language, and not necessarily the language of the person/s we're trying to communicate with. And it doesn't matter how much talking we do, if we're not speaking the same language we won't find common ground or mutual understanding, and we won't create desirable outcomes. When Johnnie (my tech-guy, business manager and resident smarty pants) talks to me about tech stuff, he has to totally modify his language so that Mr Technophobe Ignoramus (me) can understand what the heck he is trying to tell me. He often tells me something in 'Johnnie-Speak' and I just stare at him blankly.

The question I always ask myself whenever I'm about to get involved in a meeting, confrontation or general chat is, "How do I need to communicate with this (specific) person, to be understood, to understand them, and to maximise my chances of creating a good outcome?"

Just like we don't all respond optimally to the same diet, the same exercise plan or the same lifestyle philosophy, neither do we all connect with, understand, or respond well to, the same communication style.

Yet that's what most of us do. We use the same communication style in a range of settings, with a bunch of different people; different personalities, attitudes, backgrounds, beliefs and values. If I'm talking with a seventy year-old lady about an exercise plan for her and I communicate with her in the same way that I would with a twenty year-old professional athlete, she's gonna think I'm speaking some foreign language. I need to be able to communicate my thoughts and ideas speaking her language, just as you need to periodically speak the language of your boss, kid, spouse, parent or neighbour in order to create a desirable outcome and to experience meaningful communication. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't say what you think, it means say what you think, using language which is meaningful to that person.

Imagine if I wrote an article today on weight-loss and in it I used completely over-the-top scientific language and jargon. You wouldn't be educated, motivated or inspired, you'd probably be confused and think I was a big tool - because I'm not speaking your language. Even if every word was true and relevant, it wouldn't have the desired effect because there would be lots of talking (okay, writing) but no real connection or communication. No understanding.

Effective communication is about a few things:

1. Understanding - It's about genuinely trying to understand the other person and to be understood (rather than shoving your thoughts down their throat and waiting for a gap in the conversation). "Do I understand her and does she understand me?" If there's mutual understanding, there will be good communication.

2. Listening - Ironically, some of the best communicators don't actually talk that much. Some people mistake verbal diarrhoea for effective communication. We know that the vast majority of communication (93%) is non-verbal, so why do we feel compelled to talk so much? I've had many productive one hour meetings with people where I've said literally fifty words, while they've talked non-stop.

3. Making the effort to understand different people's communication style. Learn new languages. Years of working with a wide range of people has taught me that what will motivate one person (a verbal kick in the pants perhaps) might devastate and demotivate the next. Some need a smack around the head and some need an arm around the shoulder. Pity I'm so good at the head smacking thing. Oh well, arm around the shoulder it is.

4. Invest emotionally. This simply means caring about the person that you're communicating with. Caring about what they think, feel, want, need, believe. If people sense that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, you will create instant rapport and connection. You don't need to 'love' or even agree with them, just respectfully consider their perspective.

Even with this blog I get a broad range of responses to the same post/article; the same words. One person will get inspired, one will get enlightened, one will get challenged, one will be indifferent and one will get offended. Why? Because I'm speaking one language (communication style) to a bunch of different people who all speak their own language and all live in their own version of reality. This is one of the reasons why I frequently change the type of articles I write (educational, humorous, philosophical, motivational) and the communication style that I use (conversational, academic, inflammatory, provocative).

So, if one of your goals is to become more effective at work, at home, at school, in romance, in conflict, in business - in life, then perhaps it's time for you to learn another language and to master the skill of communication, rather than the habit of talking.

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Recent Comments on Craig's Blog

personal development dvd

 

 



DVD - Renovate Your Body - Craig Harper

In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. (Also available on CD).

Craig Harper - Fattitude.

 

 


Fattitude - Craig Harper
While many books focus on food, Craig Harper teaches that creating life long change is more about the dieter than the actual diet.

Craig Harper - Food for thought.

 

 

Food for thought - Craig Harper
In this book, Craig Harper walks the reader through his 21 rules to Permanent Weight Loss.

Craig Harper - So you've decided you want to get in shape (again).

 

 

So you've decided you want to get in shape (again) - Craig Harper
Imagine a pocket-sized fitness book that takes just twenty minutes to read. Craig Harper addresses the REAL getting-in-shape issues.

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